Bedtime Thoughts: Written by My Son

Dinner is over and bath time is done.
The moon just said goodnight to the sun.

But tonight is different, just wait and see,
We won’t be reading The Giving Tree.

No Green Eggs and Ham no Good Night Moon,
There’ll be no nighty-night anytime soon.

I’m about to throw one of my all-time fits,
“Time for Bed?” I could give two shits..

They’ll never believe what I have in store.
They’ll think a wolverine is behind the door.

I’ll be screaming and jumping and pulling my hair,
I’ll be biting and clawing and hiding under the chair.

They’ll probably think I’m only faking,
but boy oh boy will they be mistaking.

A river of tears will flow from each eye.
The sound of my voice will reach the sky.

I will hold my breath till my face turns red.
There’s no F-ing way I’m going to bed.

I’ll stomp on the ground and bang on the wall.
I’ll curl up in the corner like an angry ball.

Dad will be screaming and Mom will be crying.
All over the room my toys will be flying.

The neighbors will call to see what’s wrong.
They think they can calm ME down with a song?

When Dad picks me up I’ll crumble in a heap.
There’s positively NO WAY I’m going to sleep.

I’ll run down the hall. I’ll tear off my clothes.
There won’t be enough tissue for the snot in my nose.

I’ll cling to the door till my knuckles turn white,
The world will erupt when they say “nighty-night”

“Please!!,” Dad will moan all sad and weepy.
But I think this planning is making me sleepy.

Maybe I’ll relax for only bit,
I won’t lay down, but maybe just sit.

I can still do it, but I’ll have to be smarter,
I’ll simply ask for seven glasses of water.

It’s only a rest, I haven’t been broken,
but it’s getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open.

I’ll just take a second and rest my eyes.
Then I’ll play and dance under twinkling night skies….

….Wait? What’s that Light? Is that the sun?
Does this mean that my parents have won?
Did I fall asleep and miss all the fun?

I guess I’ll go eat breakfast and give them a clap,
but there’s positively, absolutely, without a doubt, NO WAY I’m taking a nap.

Author: Joel Menking

English teacher, turned stay-at-home dad, turned guy who made a website.

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