Dear Hot Wheels,
I love you, tiny land mines, for being the best bang-for-buck toy in the business.
I love you for being small enough to fit in a babies mouth, but not big enough swallow.
I love you encouraging sound effects like shhhhhhhwoo, ahhhhhhhpshsscrash, and vroooommmmm instead of repetitious, battery powered ear pollution.
I love that you can cause major damage when hurled across a room.
I love that taking you away is an effective punishment, and giving you back makes me a fucking hero.
I love you being less than dollar.
I love you for never getting lost because you multiply during the night and have taken over my house.
Never forget that I love you, even when I curse you for living beneath my bare feet.
Sincerely, A Dad